Cookie Monster Isn't Why Your Kid Is Fat

It's not Cookie Monster's fault that kids are obese. It is the fault of parents, low breastfeeding rates, advertising, less activity, less outdoor play, less free time, and probably, to some extent, genes. Please don't blame Cookie Monster.

Kids should be breastfed for a year (at least--WHO says at least two years) and moms who breastfeed longer shouldn't be harassed, they should be applauded. (How many extended nursers have obese kids? I'm very curious. I bet very, very few.) Bottle feeding, aside from formula being a second-rate product, expands a baby's stomach far too much. They can't say no to a bottle! They get overfilled, their stomach stretches, then it's a lifetime of wanting more, more, more.

Food-wise, I blame soda (high fructose corn syrup is bad, bad stuff), fast food, candy, and condiments (like ranch dressing). If your kid is already obese, read Disease Proof Your Child and Eat To Live. See www.diseaseproof.com.

Expressions I Hate

I just read the word "peeps" so I have to comment. I hate that expression and I hate the word "tweeps". I hate how people say "my" peeps. And "my" tweeps. Typically, this is done in a way, especially on Twitter, to alert followers to something (when these are people that you yourself do not follow). Why do people have to use such condescending and possessive terms? You are not royalty. These loyal friends and/or followers are not your subjects. It grates. When I see "peeps", I hit "hide".

But, there is nothing worse, to me, that the expression: "My bad". Cringe. "Oh, I'm so cute that I did ______ . Tee-hee, my bad". I wish that expression would just go away.

My 7-year-old better not pick up that phrase. There are others I'd far rather her say. Some even worthy of an R-rating.

Yet another former classmate a roaring success

I wish those of higher intelligence, creativity, and motivation the best. I do admit to jealousy. I dream of winning the lottery, to make up for the zero-earning power I currently have. I can't gamble on the lottery for such crappy odds. I'd rather eat sushi every day than waste it on that. And so would my kids. There is food on the table, so they're not missing the first class travel or the summer home. Or the convertible.

Still, I hear about these former classmates, both high school and college: successful lawyers (I'm an erstwhile lawyer), doctors (why didn't I take my hypochondriac ass to med school after all?! oh yeah: dad tried to sell me on that as a 8-year-old and I rebelled early), authors (how awesome to write books all day long! Oh yes, creativity and skills are a must), inventors, tech-savvy individuals (never took a computer class past 7th grade--BASIC was sure fun), professors (in law, only straight-A's need apply: would my lowest Latin honors fool them?), etc. And, why did I major in English? Liking to read is NOT enough.

What I'd like to do: travel the world, children in tow. The best not-at-home-schooling experience ever. At least, I think it would be. Better than the kids' dream vision of home school--TV every day, all day long.

Some Thoughts after Reading Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman

1. My favorite quote from the book: "self-flagellation is not the crux of the paternal experience". Very, very true. Certainly, this house, there is no losing sleep over parenting decisions by anyone but me! On the one hand, I am deferred to (very often). On the other hand, I am judged (very often).

2. Why does AW have to make the point that her husband is not gay? It sounds like they have a great relationship. He admits (see Hadassah magazine) to experimentation. It sounds like he and AW love each other. Anyway, I just thought a secure wife wouldn't necessarily have to hammer that one home.

3. Did AW really say that she'd use a kid as a shield to protect her husband from a bullet? I read the NY Times story back when, and like many others, I was bothered. But, I don't remember reading anything like that (and couldn't find anything using Google).

4. I might not explain this exactly right. But, here goes. AW went to Harvard Law. She went there with the President! She is married to a famous writer! She had an awesome job! She's written many novels! Isn't that different than those of us who DON'T DO ANYTHING, and still hide the art supplies? Rely on Nick Jr.? Take kids out to eat lunch because there's nothing in the house? People like my kids--a lot--so I know my "job", such as it is, has been moderately successful (at least) so far. Yet, I feel like someone who is such a success professionally is not at all akin to your average slacker mom who is gripping too hard to her Gen-X roots. So, while my initial reaction to this book was, yes, great, someone understands! Really, I feel like my life is quite removed from the bubble inhabited by AW.

5. I found AW's description very moving of how they came to the decision for her to have an abortion. Especially how she explained that her husband felt that his belief that all would be well with the pregnancy had far greater consequences (should the child be unwell) in all of their lives.

6. Dodgeball. I sucked at that game, too.

7. I felt like AW relished telling us all what a geek she was, and what a slut she was. We can all think how "edgy" she is, and not at all a stereotype. Though, it, too is stereotypical.

8. AW's discussion of her diagnosis with bipolar disorder.

9. I liked the reference to Marmee being the perfect mother. Of course, she is! And that June Cleaver would probably be knocking back a gin and tonic. More like Betty Draper.

(I'm going to stop here, for now. Not sure I can come up with 18.)

I've lost the motivation to reach 18 points. I did want to mention that I think AW scrambled to make her book 18 chapters. Again, however, she WROTE a book and got it published.

I read too much

Since I read too much, and it doesn't look like I'll ever come up with an idea to write something myself...I've been told that I should comment on books I've read, and books that I recommend. That it will give me a purpose, this blog a purpose, and perhaps be a little less boring. (Though, I definitely can't say that for sure.) I still have time to read since my home looks like a college apartment (complete with the slipcover sofas and clothes strewn all over the bedrooms--I know which are clean and which are dirty) and my kids really like take-out (Indian, sushi, and Thai are their favorites).

So, recently, I've been reading the early oeuvre of Katie Fforde and Madeleine Wickham (aka Sophie Kinsella). First, Fforde: I don't know if it's the fact that I'm reading the novels in the original British, but I have to ask: why is it that the female narrators always think that their romantic interests are angry enough to rape them? And then, why after that, do the characters always in fact have some kind of sexual interaction? This really kept me from just enjoying her works as the good fun that they are. It was also difficult to read about women who always need rescuing from men. (The same men who look angry enough to rape.) Comparisons to Jane Austen's world aren't really justified. An angry Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley certainly didn't inspire even a quake in an Austen heroine. Realistically, it was pretty clear that even Fforde's narrators didn't believe that they were about to be raped; but, it demonstrated how lightly both the characters and the author was taking the word. Believable or not, it was a distracting enough word to have in a light-hearted novel in which the poor-but-deserving "girl" was finally going to get her (usually older) man. As much as I may have enjoyed the books otherwise (for what they are--let's face, as undiscriminating as I can be, I do recognize what's "good" and what's really good), I was put off by this, and wonder if I can attribute it to the books being written over 10 years ago...but sounding as they they were written more like 25 years ago.

Madeleine Wickham. Ah, I should start by saying that I think the Shopaholic novels were really, really stupid. Yet, I went out and bought every single one, a few even in hardback. I admit it. I sold some on Amazon, and others I passed to my stepfather. So, even in my irritation, I wanted to read this fluff to see what would happen. Wickham's first book, The Tennis Party is beyond stupid. Please don't read this book. The characters are impossible to keep straight. The plot is straight out of an '80s trash novel (not by a famous author like a Danielle Steele, for instance). I couldn't imagine how, someone born in 1969, could have written something (in her 20s!) that reads like something a middle-aged woman would have written.  The Swimming Pool is almost equally inane, with a litigious plot out of the 1980s as well.  

Ok, this is a pretty old post, and my son needs to take a nap, so here it goes!

Kids' Thank You Notes

Squirmy just turned 6.  She has no appreciation, no concern, doesn't take anything seriously, and could truly care less whether she has a party again or even receives gifts again.  It is so disappointing to have this be my child, age 6.  I love her, despite her rudeness.  Yet, how to get a kid who obviously does not care at all to write notes?  We're not talking Emily Post notes, either.  We're talking, thank you for the ____ being the one sentence in there.  She claims she can't do it, yet managed just fine for one of her best friends.  Her writing is such gibberish.  It's a nice day outside, and we'll happily sit inside all day along. I don't care.  

I can't begin to count the number of notes I've written on her behalf since she was born, even writing some as her ghostwriter (which I guess is very tacky, but hard not to do if I don't even know the kids' parents).  I have read (and confirmed at the card store) that a 6-year-old who knows how to write and is learning to read must write his or her own basic note--that's what's done, and what's expected.

She started crying, because I yelled a little bit as she was being so irritating in her lack-of-concern, I'm so funny, ha, ha, making a joke out of the whole thing.  I actually thought that tears would be better than silliness.  In no way does she actually CARE though.  Tears don't mean caring.  Tears mean that she's upset that I'm not coddling her and letting her watch TV or go play with friends or do whatever else she'd rather be doing.

She was like this after visiting a food pantry as well, having the nerve to complain that she was "starving", proving that she learned nothing about the children who don't have enough food to eat on a daily basis.

In many ways, this makes me question my mothering techniques!

I'm Not Pregnant, Just Fat (I guess!)

I feel like I get more than my fair share share of: "when are you due"?  "are you expecting"?  "Well, you LOOK pregnant..."  "Really?  I was so sure you were?"

I had a whole post written, but I feel like this really speaks for itself!